Life of an Oblivious Idiot
by EternallyDrowning
Summary: In order to prove her father wrong and beat her perfect older brother, Itachi, Sasuke Uchiha enrolls into an all boys' school. But this story is not about Sasuke Uchiha. This story is about her roommate, Naruto Uzumaki, and how he's too stupid to notice.
1. I Dream of Roommates

**Sorry peoples but I have another case of writer's block (yes…AGAIN!), and you all know what that means. _waits for_ _the groans_ Yup! A new story! _insert groans_**

**BUT! on the bright-side I have started new chapters for Ghost Hunt, It's Called Freedom, Living Without Wings as well as A Father's Life…I just can't…finish them…as of…now.**

**SUUU!**

**cough**

**I got the inspiration for this story from Shat3dLooking-Glass who did me the INCREDIBLE favor of being my Beta reader! THANK YOU FOR THAT VERY VERY MUCH!**

**Yes, this WILL be in the…is the I/Me 1****st**** person? Correct me if I'm wrong… Whatever, this will be in the FIRST PERSON from Naruto's POV. (I don't even know if I'm going to switch at all cuz it's such a pain in my ass to do so.)**

**As promised, this story is dedicated to PurpleWolfStar. Why? If you knew her/read her stuff I don't think I'd need to explain! **

* * *

_**Naruto's POV**_

_Our dorm room is larger than I expected it to be. Out of all the stories of high school boarding school dorms I've been told, I'd never heard a story with such nice looking bedrooms! Floors so soft and carpeted so thickly that you could sleep on it and not even care! The beds are both king sized and we both have our own bathrooms! Not to mention the thick overhanging scent of ramen filling the dorm!_

_I'm going to lov-_

"_Who are you?" a small irked voice asks from the corner of the room._

_ROOMMATE!_

_Oh my god! My roommate! Okay, breathe. First impressions are always the best. You need to make him like you the moment he sees you!_

_Clearing my throat and running my hands through my hair in a futile attempt to make it appear groomed, I turn toward my roommate._

"_I'm your new roommate Naruto Uzumaki! I love ramen and video games! Nice to meet you!"_

_I hold out my hand in the direction where he's sitting, waiting for him to shake it._

_Ah…_

_Still waiting…_

_I bet I look like a dork…again._

_He stands up now, revealing himself from the shadows. A pair of wire glasses are plastered to his face, which he immediately pushes up the bridge of his nose. His hair is well kept, so much so that it probably won't move into another style no matter how much he tries. The completely black school uniform is sitting neatly folded and…what appears to be ironed…on his perfectly made bed. What he's wearing now is a gray corduroy shirt and a pair of white cutoffs._

_I must…_

_try to remain…_

_from…_

_laughing…_

_I can't help it and have to hide a few of my snickers from him._

_He glares at me._

"_Laugh all you want," my nerdy roommate starts in that incredibly small…and somewhat squeaky…voice. "but I find that this is much more sufficient to move around in." He stomps up to me, circling me, making me feel like a piece of meat under inspection._

_When done he gives a heavy sigh._

"_This just will not do…"_

"_What? Why? I _do_ perfectly fine, thank you very much!"_

_He leans in toward me, pushing his glasses up higher on his nose again._

"_What's the capital of Burma?"_

_Burma? How can Burma have a capital? Wasn't Burma a continent? _

_Ah! I always sucked at geography!_

_WAIT! I REMEMBER NOW! HOW COULD I FORGET! IT'S SO SIMPLE IT'S…_

_I take a deep breath, letting my confidence light my face. "Hong Kong!"_

_Oh yeah! Be awed at my awesomeness!_

"_No!"_

_What!?_

"_The capital of Burma, also known as Myanmar, is Yangon! Hong Kong is in China…"_

_Ahehe…I knew…that…_

"_This is no good." he growls, "I can't have you embarrassing me in this school. No. It appears that I will have to do all your homework for you in order for you to have an even _suitable_ grade."_

"_What!? Really!? You'd do that for me!?"_

_NO HOMEWORK! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I LOVE MY NEW ROOMATE!_

"_Could you please…let go of me? I have a…phobia against…human contact…"_

_Eh?_

_I open my eyes to realize…_

"_Oh! Sorry 'bout that! I was just, you know, excited to meet you!" I immediately un-cling myself from him._

_That was…awkward…_

"_Now, Naruto, I have very strict rules in this dorm."_

_Strict…rules? Oh brother…_

_I zone out and only half way listen to what he's trying to tell me._

"_I have a very low tolerance for fatty foods. Therefore the only thing you will be allowed to eat while in this dorm is ramen."_

_Yeah, yeah, I get it. The only food we're allowed to eat in this dorm is ramen._

_I freeze._

_Ramen…? RAMEN!_

_Suddenly I am _very_ interested in what my roommate has to say…_

"_It is both suitable as a soup as well as a food, has very low calories, a well balanced taste, and other foods can be added like eggs, meat, vegetables, and other such things in order to keep a perfectly balanced diet."_

_Someone else…understands the power of ramen other than…me…_

"_Yes!" I clear my throat to try and act innocent. "Yes, anything but ramen is just…disgusting. I don't know how anyone could eat anything else. I mean…come on! It's so logical to consume…"_

_I close my eyes, waiting for him to snap at me…possibly for sounding like an idiot._

_Honestly, I try not to!_

_Well…he's not yelling at me now…so that must mean…_

_Hesitantly, I'm still waiting for him to hit me on the head, I open one of my eyes. Not so as to see…more as to…peek…_

_Wha-?_

_I open both eyes in order to confirm what I _thought _I just saw._

_They widen._

_I wasn't wrong._

_My roommate is standing right in front of me holding a gigantor, steaming, delicious smelling, made-of-awesomness beef cup ramen._

_I feel the odd sensation of something warm and slippery rolling down my chin._

_Not to worry! It's only drool. Drool for the wanting need to devour that cup ramen as fast as I can!_

_Closing my eyes again I take a deep breath in through my nose._

_The ramen powder, the vegetables, the sweet faint aroma of the noodles…they all fill my senses, drowning me in my own personal heaven._

"_I'm coming!" I spread my arms out as if to embrace my angel of foods, running devotedly toward her and only her, my eyes still closed in order to keep the spell of her scent working on me. "Raaameeeennnnnn!"_

SMACK!

Ugh! Pain. I do not like pain. It's so…painful!

I open my eyes to find myself completely sprawled out on the floor, my luggage bags and duffel bags receiving the same treatment as I am, and my roommate fantasy bubble completely popped.

Dead ahead of me is a door. My door. The door to my dorm room…which hates me.

_Great. _I hear myself thinking. (Sugary sarcasm coating that phony little word into a lollipop) _First day of coming here and I've already made enemies, and my first enemy just happens to be the door._

Grumbling, I pick myself up, contemplating whether my bags are worth the exercise.

I mean, come on! Do people really need all that underwear? And combs and deodorant, you could live without them! I know the cavemen did and look how they turned out!

That…probably wasn't the best comparison…

Sighing in defeat, I crouch down to pick up all of my ridiculously heavy bags. (Okay, maybe they aren't _that_ heavy, but I'm a guy, I have to make _everything_ sound worse than it really is)

Having finished that painful duty, I glance around the hallway, my eyes seeing for the first time the cream colored wallpaper glued to every inch of the walls. The ceiling is tiled with those evil styrofoam tiles that everyone jumps at and accidentally breaks, all of them stretching on as far as my eyes can see. Carpeting is a dull worn out tan color, though they (whoever they are) tried to liven up the place by posting landscape paintings at every corner or turnoff in the hallway.

It's quite homely actually.

I think I'm going to like it here!

Deciding it's time to settle into the dorm, and meet my new roommate, I start reaching for the doorknob of the door ahead of me…

…or tried to.

"Damn it all!" my voice growls as I try to adjust the bags in my hands in order to get a grip on the doorknob.

It's futile.

Okay then, I'll just have to improvise…

* * *

Oh God! My jaw hurts, my teeth hurt, my head hurts… This hurts! This hurts! This HURTS!

But just a little…more…almost…

My hand lands on the doorknob, slightly turning it…nearly…NO! My hands are sweating! I can't get a grip! I can't-

One foot catches on my other foot's sneaker, forcing me to face-plant into the door…again.

PAIN!

I wince.

Okay, so maybe putting three duffel bag straps between my teeth was a bad idea…but it sounded so good at the time!

Who am I kidding?

It's all just useless anyway.

I was so excited to be going to a new school where no one knew me. I was going to make a good impression this time! I was going to stop being an idiot! I was going to shed the title of Dork King off of my name! All of this trouble for what? To still be the same old Dork King of Idiots, that's what.

A stinging comes to my eyes, threatening to turn into tears if I didn't shape up soon.

Sniffling, trying to suppress my emotions, but the stinging just grows stronger.

Why do I have to be such a failure? Is one friend too much to ask? Even if it's just someone to go to that new ramen shop with me, that would be fine too!

I don't even bother pushing myself away from the door, so I just stay there, leaning against it, my nose probably bleeding, my cheek probably bruised, and my bags probably falling again.

It feels nice though.

I suck in a stream of snot back into my nose.

The cold of the wood is incredibly…soothing.

Now that I think about it…I guess it's not so bad after a-

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm…swinging?

AH!

My body is falling toward the hard wooden floor of the dorm, the door swinging inwards with me.

Why!?

The to-be-painful-landing rushes up at my face, making me cringe in fear of the impact.

This just had to happen to me, didn't it…?

I close me eyes, waiting for the newest wave of pain.

Nothing.

Instead of pain is a soft cushioning feeling…like I've landed on a pillow…

I open my eyes.

Beneath me are my multitude duffel bags, all of which padded my fall. I feel like hugging them!

Thank you! Oh, duffel bags of mine, I will not forget this!

You know what? Screw it!

Scrambling up to get on my knees I grab the nearest duffel bags and wrap my arms around them tightly, as if I had not seen them for a long time.

"THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! YOU OBEY YOUR MASTER! YOU ARE SO COOL!" I cry, tears actually running down my face now, though this time they're from happiness.

This has got to be the best moment of my entire lif-

"You're annoying."

I freeze.

What?

Someone's here?

I let it sink in.

Making sure to turn around slowly, I try to catch a look at the speaker without them seeing the terrible condition I myself am in. "Roommate?" I ask hesitantly.

My eyes scan the room, looking for the owner of the voice.

Two large closets are placed on either side of the dorm room. The walls of the room have the same color as the ones in the hallway, though the closets themselves have been painted a dull gray color. Opposite one closet is a large window viewing the outside world of cars, buildings, and busily walking people. A small amount of light penetrates the entire room from what rays of the sun are allowed through, even though there are some places that are still far darker than others. A pair of beds are in the room, full sized at most…I think (I never was good with sizes) even if it isn't as nice/big as in my fantasy world...it's still pretty nice. Each bed is placed on opposite sides of the room. One, which was still made and untouched, was directly beneath the window, making it incredibly bright and warm looking, and the other (which I had to spend some time looking for) was hidden in the shadows of a large dresser. The bed was rumpled, the pillows in an odd shape, and an occupant was stationed there.

I swallow.

The boy was rather…scary.

My roommate was laying on his bed, his shoulders and upper back resting against the head board, his legs slightly crossing by his ankles as he turns the page of a large textbook on his lap with a pale set of fingers.

He's reading…

I have to squint and lean forward in order to somewhat see the cover.

**Human Anatomy Vol. III**

My body tries with all its strength to suppress a shudder. Whether it was from the fact that he was reading about the human body or the fact that he understood it, I don't know. Both are incredibly creepy and _not_ normal.

Mr. Roommate must have realized that I was staring at him for his eyes stop looking at the book and snap to me.

I gulp.

His eyes are incredibly black, like frozen ice, and extremely…haunting.

"What do you want?" he growls, his voice a little bit high and young sounding for a boy his age, but it has such an edge to it that it makes you almost want to wince.

I find myself mumbling "I-I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I'm your new roommate. Nice to meet you." or something along those lines.

He looks the clad-in-orange me up and down with unpleased eyes, a small sigh of aggravation wrenching its way out of his mouth. Slamming the textbook closed he tosses it onto the enormous dresser, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed in order to stand up and walk toward me.

I take a step back with each step he advances forward with, so I'm soon backed up to the door again, while he is in the dead center of the room.

His pale hand reaches up and runs through his long jet black bangs, brushing them away from his cold hearted eyes.

Those eyes of his never leave me.

Not even for a second.

"Sasuke Uchiha." he says boredly as his hand runs completely through his bangs and into the air. I look at him more observantly now. His hair is indeed naturally black, so black that it seems blue in the light. An angel's face is stern and unemotional except for that stupid annoyed twitching of its mouth. I also observe that his skin in paler than I thought, and that in the light he seems almost ghost like. This doesn't seem to faze him for he's wearing a very large/overly baggy dark blue sweater and a pair of white cutoffs.

I guess he's not so bad after all!

"Nice to meet you!" I say again with enthusiasm, holding my hand out determinedly. Sure he may be scary, but you think that's going to stop me? He could be my first friend! There's no way I would pass this chance up!

He stares at my hand as if it was a disease.

"From my closet to the wall next to my bed is my side of this room. Under no circumstances should you enter my space. Understood?" he barks.

I nod, more out of the instinct of survival than for the fact of understanding his words.

"Wait, how do I know which closet it yours?" I question.

My answer is introduced with a glare and another irritated twitching of his mouth.

"Yours doesn't have a padlock on it."

With that he walks past me, toward the door, stepping over my duffel bags, and completely leaves the room.

I release the deep breath I was holding.

"I thought he was going to bite my head off!" I confide to the emptiness of the dorm.

* * *

Sighing, I drag all of the duffel bags to my side of the room, busily unpacking them. I could take all the time in the world since today is Sunday, but I didn't want to take the chance of making Sasuke mad at me for having my stuff all over the room when he gets back.

Hold on, I should think of this positively.

The two of us being together might lead into us being friends, which might lead us into being best friends.

I can't help but smile at the thought.

Having a best friend must be nice. I can't wait until I get one of my own!

Then there's always the fact that, like in my fantasy, he glared…and had…white…cutoffs.

Who am I kidding? My roommate is a bastard.

I'm screwed!

* * *

**Yeah, I know that I kinda spoil the plot in the summary, but we all know Naruto is an idiot anyway.**

**Again, sorry that I started a new story when I should be working on my other ones but…I just couldn't…help myself.**


	2. Today's Word: Cannibalism

**Yeah, updated this one. Finally. **

**WARNING: There's a bit of Sasuke bashing in this chapter ^_^**

**Oh, and Shat3rdLooking-Glass, I know it's been a while since I updated so I wasn't sure if you still wanted to be my beta reader. Please PM me if you can still do it! (I'll try to write faster…I promise!)**

* * *

A yawn escapes my mouth, sounding like a cross between a sigh and a burp. Which of the two it was more like, I have absolutely no idea. All I know is that it sounded cool but hurt like a bi-

"Wow! Who the hell are you?"

Eh?

Shocked, I turn around…not quite sure if I should have.

"You sure or an odd one. But hey," the boy before me gives a wide toothy grin, "who am I to talk?" He gives out a barking laugh, one so loud that my eardrums nearly bleed.

"Oh…" the shock of being confronted still running through my brain, I try to speak, "OH! Hi there! My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I just transferred!" I say, rubbing the back of my head to try and conceal my embarrassment.

The boy before me just smiles even wider, revealing a rather sharp pair of eyeteeth…kind of like…canines…

"S'cool. Have you been shown around yet?" he asks, genuinely wondering.

At least…what I think was genuinely wondering.

I've never really met someone that really cared.

Could this by my possible first friend!!!????

"Sure! Yeah! Totally! I mean…I would really like that…er…if you wouldn't mind…"

Great.

Now I am a stuttering idiot.

I can just imagine the scene playing out now. My could-have-been-friend/possibly-could-have-been-BEST-friend just looking at me, like I'm a doofus…which I kinda am…a sarcastic laugh bursting through his lungs and into the air where it would then try to murder me through slow torturous embarrassment.

What a way to go, right?

He better give me one last cup of ramen before I die. So help him GOD if he doesn't!

"Sweet! I had some time to kill anyway. Let's go." he said, waving me over to walk alongside him. That one single word _kill _makes me start preparing for anything.

He could be leading me to a hall filled with football jocks. No. No jock would hang out with him. Not to be mean or anything…he's just a little…weird. What with his sharp teeth and all… So if it's not jocks then it would have to be…

A paranoid thought makes its way across my tiny little brain.

"He's a cannibal." says the little thought, shoving all my sensible logic to the side (they didn't seem to like that much, and are grumbling like crazy, and I _swear_ I heard the **Be** **nice or he won't be your friend **one just curse) "Why else would he have such long canine teeth!?"

"I don't know," I reply to the voice, "Maybe it's just a genetic flaw…maybe he inherited it from his parents…"

"He learned the act of cannibalism from his parents! He's gonna eat you! He's gonna rip apart your flesh and feast on it like a juicy bacon cheeseburger! Run for it, you good for nothing idiot! Run from the creep! RUN!"

"Okay, that's it!" I've finally reached my limit and prepare to punch that nasty little thought in the face, "You can call him a freak, you can call him a creep, you can call him a cannibal, but NO ONE compares MY flesh to the likes of a BACON CHEESEBURGER!!!!!!!! It's called ramen people! RAMEN! LEARN IT, DAMNIT!"

I continue thinking (what can I do, it's one of those things that just gets up and goes, whether you're with it or not) if he's not a cannibal…maybe he's not even human. Maybe he WAS human! MAYBE HE'S A ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!! How was it you killed a zombie again? Separate the brain from the head? Cut off the head? Smash the head in? Jab the head? Oh who CARES! That head is GONE! Wait a second…they're dead humans…but since they're dead…does that even make them human? Are they a ghoul? A monster? A demon? Hrm…demons…that's an option too.

What looks like a human, acts like a human, draws humans in to feast of them…? Oh my God! HE'S A VAMPIRE! I smile. Well that's good. All I can say is vampires beware. I spit holy water and know the Lord's prayer by heart. They think garlic is bad? Wait until they get a whiff of one of my farts; silent, lethal, and powerful enough to kill a camel. Oh yeah. I'm good. Humans, cannibals, zombies, vampires…

Bring it.

"I'm Kiba, by the way." he says, completely shattering my very detailed/important/life preserving conversation with myself.

"Wha-"

"Kiba Inuzuka. Lover of dogs, lover of games, and you can always count on me to speak my mind, and I find you pretty cool."

Was that a wink I just saw?

Why are you winking at me, Kiba Inuzuka? Is there something in your eye? Did the wind catch an eyelash and plaster it perfectly and discretely in the sensitive pink flesh holding your eye? Please tell me there is a reason for this winkery. If not then…well, I may have to charge you a fine.

"You're a little bit on the loser side, but hey, welcome to the club."

Not sure whether he's insulting me or praising me, I do the only thing that anyone anywhere could _possibly _do during this situation.

Nod and smile.

As if your life depended on it; nod and smile!

"Is something wrong with your neck?" Kiba's gruff voice questions, his eyes looking at me in a way so that I couldn't help but get the feeling that he was becoming a little nervous around me.

**Mission Nod and Smile: **_**Fail**_

"You're pretty nervous about the new school ain't ya?" he says jokingly, running a hand through his tangled brown hair. "Don't worry, all you have to do is try to avoid catching the teacher's attention -they'll make you answer questions all the time if you do- try not to get food poisoning from the cafeteria food, and try to be on good terms with your roommate."

A fearful sound escapes my lips.

"I think I may have already done that. My roommate called me annoying…and glared at me."

Kiba quirks his eyebrow.

"Oh? And who's your roommate?"

What was it? Saucey? Sally? No, that's a girl's name. Sousuke, Sasouke, Saucegay…Sasuke.

Sasuke! That was it!

"Sasuke Uchiha."

My possible-new-friend stares at me.

"Sasuke Uchiha? Really?" he breathes, not believing what I had just said.

"…yeah?"

He smirks.

"Have you noticed anything…off… about him?"

Off?

Well…

"He did wear white shorts, kept his hair really nice, was reading about human analogy-"

"Anatomy." Kiba corrects.

"Yeah, that."

"Anything off about the way he acted…looked?"

So mean, making me remember someone I only saw once.

My forehead wrinkles in concentration.

"His voice was a little bit higher than what I thought it would have been, he was really edgy, and his skin was really smooth…soft. But…what about it?"

This is where he starts laughing again, trying to hide it, but failing completely.

"Dude, Sasuke Uchiha is gay."

* * *

"Hey! Everyone, this is Naruto. Naruto, this is everyone." Kiba jabs a thumb at _me _and _everyone_ during their respectable times, as if that was enough of an introduction. "He's new here and is kinda freaked out."

"Damnit, that means we can't pull a mega prank on the kid." a boy with sandy brown hair growls.

"So troublesome." says the half-asleep boy next to him.

I look around.

Boy, boy, boy, boy, man teacher, old man, janitor man, boy, boy, boy…

I can't help but find myself asking, "Is this an all boy's school?"

That got their attention.

Everyone looks at me.

It's Kiba who finally speaks up (I get the feeling that he's the speaker of the group) "Yeah, this is the first year it's been like this though. It was co-ed last year, but they changed it. It's caused quite a bit of confusion. Most parents still think it's co-ed."

Changed?

"Why?"

The sandy boy speaks up now, "I heard it was because a male teacher and a female student were caught screwing in the detention room."

"Oh shut up, Kankurou, that's not how it happened." Kiba growls sarcastically, punching him in the arm. I can't tell if it was a friendly punch or a "Shut up" punch. It looked painful, but "Kankurou" took it with a wide grin plastered to his face.

Is this what friends do? Enjoy being beat by their friends? Returning the favor?

I would like to try that too…

"The school turned strictly for boys when the rumor that co-ed schools weren't as serious as single gendered schools started going around. Supposedly there were too many distractions, for both teachers and students alike, that kept them from focusing solely on their grades. This school was destined for change, there would be nothing we could do anyway."

An aggravated sigh chorusly makes its way throughout the table.

"You were going fine until you hit your _destiny_ crap." Kankurou wails.

The "Destiny Boy" glares at him.

"Okay!" Kiba says, trying to break them up with a loud clap of his hands, "Guess who our _new_-_bee_ has for a roommate?"

Was that a flir-ta-tious syllable separation I just heard there, Kiba? Were you preparing to spell out the word? Are we in a national spelling bee? Eh? Kiba? LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M HAVING AN IMAGINATIVE ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION WITH YOU, DAMNIT!

A quiet boy with creepy glasses turns toward us. "Rock Lee."

I have absolutely no idea who he is, but because of the laughs, shudders, and sickened faces making their ways throughout the table, I'm pretty sure I don't want to.

Seemingly excited by the topic, my canine friend smiles even wider, "Nope."

"Look, Kiba, if it's not Rock Lee then it's too troublesome to contemplate." the tired one yawns, "Just tell us already."

I look toward Kiba, who now looks like someone just kicked him…or his dog.

"Fine! Suck my joy away why don't ya! His roommate is Saucy-gay."

Wow! They came up with that conclusion too! And here I thought I was just pronouncing it wrong!

Kankurou, who had been drinking a bottle of water, proceeds to choke, spewing the liquid across the table and drenching "Destiny Boy" with the spit filled drink.

"Kankurou." he hisses, a menacing glare filling up his eyes, "I'm fated to kill you. Do not resent me. It was destiny." He leaps over the table in an attempt to strangle his tormenter to death.

Looking around, I see that everyone seems to have changed.

Kiba is in hysterics and wiping his eyes of tears from the fact of who my roommate was and the fact that "Destiny Boy" is strangling Kankurou enough so that he's turning blue.

I would be laughing too if it wasn't for a small little fact guiltily hanging in the back of my mind.

Was it okay to laugh at Sasuke just because he was gay? I mean, yes it's different, and kinda funny since he's at an all boy's school…but not something you would laugh about in public. He didn't choose to be like that. He didn't choose to feel the way he does.

I bite my tongue to hold back my protests.

Sasuke was a bastard. He deserves this punishment.

"Look, Naruto, as troublesome as it is, I'm going to give you some advice." the lazy one says…lazily.

Kiba lets out a shocked hiccup, "Shikamaru is going to give advice?" he dramatically "faints" landing on the floor in an awkward position.

"Yeah? Advice is good. I've never dealt with a…a…a…"

"A gay before." Kankurou finishes for me.

"Yeah…one of those."

"As I was saying," Shikamaru (what a cool name!) continues, completely ignoring his interruption, "just go with the flow. If he makes a move, leave. Ignore him and he'll find you uninteresting."

I nod.

Okay.

To be ignored you must pretend not to exist.

I can do that.

Hell, I've been doing that for the past sixteen years!

I slam my eyes close and take a deep, silent, breath.

I do not exist. I do not exist. Sasuke cannot see me. I am nothing to him. Sasuke is just a regular guy who I do not care about. I hardly know him. He hardly knows me. I shouldn't even be thinking excessively about him. What are the odds that he'll be next to me somewhere in this massive school of over eight hundred students? No, he is absolutely not-

"Hey, look!" Kankurou laughs, gasping as soon as he pried "Destiny Boy" off of him, "It's Sasuke!"

I open my eyes, startled with doubt, but sure enough, there was Sasuke.

His walk was confident yet relaxed, his shoulders somewhat hunched and his eyes glaring.

If I didn't know him, didn't try to resist the urge to punch him for his arrogance, and didn't have a slight fear that he was going to kill me, I might have actually thought he looked _somewhat_ cool.

Okay, _very_ cool.

_Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! _my mind screams as he made his way over to where I was sitting.

I slam my eyes closed again.

_Don't do something embarrassing to me. Please don't do something embarrassing to me!_

Nothing.

When I open my eyes again I realize that Sasuke had completely ignored my existence, and had walked strait over to the table next to us.

I heard him clear his throat.

"Itachi! I've come here as a challenge to you! This is the day I defeat you once and for all!"

A rather scary looking upperclassman stops whatever conversation he was having with a sickly blue looking boy with sharp teeth, and turns around to face his opponent.

As soon as he sees him his face contorts into one of anger, and his eyes fill with a glare of rage.

I gulp.

This upperclassman had long black hair pulled back into a ponytail, and the scariest eyes I've ever seen.

"I didn't expect to see _you _here, little _brother_." he says harshly.

He stands right up to my roommate, and begins to…

O.O

Wow.

That's just…

I try to muffle a laugh with my hand, but it escapes between my fingers.

Sasuke Uchiha, in all his narcissistically/egotistic glory, has been thrown over the shoulder of this upperclassman. It wouldn't be half as funny, but because Sasuke (in all his princely _prissiness_) has started beating against this scary boy's back while trying to kick him like in the tantrums of a little girl, it makes one want to SCREAM hilariousness!

"You put me down Itachi! You put me down _this instant_!"

"It seems that I have some business to attend to with this underclassmen. You'll have to excuse me." The one called Itachi says politely to the people at the table, yet loud enough for the whole room to hear. With those words said, he begins to make his way out of the cafeteria, Sasuke yelping and whining in protest the whole way.

"Haha! He did it again!" Kankurou wails, slamming his hand noisily against the table.

"Did what again?" I ask confused, blinking a couple times to make me look innocent (a trick I learned from my old caretaker, Iruka. With it is the power to get away with asking ANY question! CHA-CHING!) Luckily someone answers my simple question.

"Every single day that annoying Uchiha challenges Itachi to a challenge in hopes of beating him. I would never do it. It's too troublesome. I went to the same middle school as them, it happened everyday at lunch. Today is the first day it happened here. So ridiculous…" Shikamaru yawns, his head collapsing to the table, immediately falling asleep afterwards.

This time "Destiny Boy" has a tidbit to add too.

"Itachi Uchiha has been deemed the most successful prodigy this school has ever seen. It was his destiny that he come here. Now his little brother has appeared, fated to always come in second."

"Neji! Shut up with the destiny slash fate crap! It's annoying!"

"Destiny Boy" er…Neji, crosses his arms in front of his chest in an X fashion.

"I refuse."

"DAMN YOU NEJI!" Kankurou lunges onto the boy, shoving his hands in his mouth and stretching the skin beyond its limits.

He looks kinda like he's made of rubber.

He must use moisturizer.

I nod my head with the thought. Yes, it must be moisturizer.

"ENOUGH YOU TWO!" Kiba yells after Neji got his rather feminine looking nails lodged into his sandaled feet. "YOU ARE SO IMMATURE!"

Not even a second later the two are sitting back in their original spots; both looking glum.

"Thank you." Kiba says, sitting down next to them.

I stand at the end, somewhat enjoying what has played out, somewhat saddened that I wasn't asked to sit by anyone. But still…

"NEJI! GET YOUR HAND OFF MY THIGH!"

Neji looks appalled. "Even if I was fated to have to place my hand on your thigh, I would fight that fate and try to change my destiny. AND I MEAN IT! YOU DISGUSTING OLD MAN!"

This immediately starts another fight between the two.

I let my gaze wander around, casually letting it drop onto Kiba. I get this knowing feeling that he was the culprit. My accusation of him being so is allowed to leak across my face. (Why bother to hide it, right? It's called freedom of expression people! FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION!) Kiba says nothing, he just returns my stare. He doesn't even bother to speak.

He just winks.

* * *

**Making this clear once again, I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST GAYS!**

**About two days of Christmas vacation left *depression* So I'll try to write more tomorrow (but I'm not promising anything)**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**


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